You’re the Reason I Lose Myself

I’m an artist. I am here staring at a blank canvas. The keyboard is beneath my fingertips. It’s keys are anticipating which letter I will be stroking next. More and more, I create. I dig deep from my subconscious mind. I reach in while in a meditative state to reveal a picture. Abstract conveys the layers of meaning I wish to display…

I create from my heart.

This place is the only place that is mine…

Everything that requires balance lies in the hands of the relationship. The relationship is the most sacred of places that can reveal the deepest mysteries of God. That is because God is love.

God is true, divine-love.

God’s love is beyond anything that we can truly appreciate because His love is 100% constant selflessness. His love is only for us. He is the giver and we are the receiver. God delights in giving us whatever we want and need.

You may think that God does not give, but be careful what you ask for. The bigger the thing that you want the more you will have to find out about yourself and God to have it.

I want a husband.

I want to be loved.

The man does not know himself because his identity is in God and in God in his wife. If he is not right with God, he can never be right with his wife and vice-versa. Our love is revealed as an image. We are in the image of God and in the image of God to each other.

We are not perfect like the perfect God, but the journey of life is here to teach us how to be perfect.

Only Love is Perfect

Our love resembles the marriage between my Creator and I first, then resembles God’s love through my husband’s love through his marriage between our Creator and him. We are now learning together the male and female God that we know who is revealed in the reflection of one another.

In our dysfunction, I am attracted to what resembles God to me in you, and you are attracted to what resembles God to you in me. The more we are right with God in ourselves, the more that God will be revealed to us in one another.

You are different than me, but you are the same as me and vice versa. I am drawn to you through intimate energy that is magnetic. We push or pull through our differences that may or may not line up with who God is to ourselves. When we are not happy with our other self it is because you are not in line with what I know to be true about God or vice versa.

The Two God-heads

Love gets confusing when our love is selfish. Selfish is ego, which in our nature is dominant. The ego is the opposite of God. God is good and ego is bad. We are always fighting our ego by loving outside of ourselves who is God. Change is constant and in our nature, we do not like change so we are always in a fight with ourselves. To love God is being selfless and love always welcomes change that is for love.

God’s Divine Plan

Only with God are we truly in love. Our love’s purpose is to perfect one another. Each one of us is either like Adam or Eve. We all are trying to achieve what the first Adam and Eve did not. All of us fail at love. It is the perfect child (Messiah) who relieves us from the burden of failure so that we can learn to forgive one another when we are not perfect. As time moves on and on, we will get better and better at loving one another.

That is because that is the journey of life — To love.

Everything else is commentary…

You're the reason I lose myself
You make me wanna confuse myself
The more I'm lost the more I'm found
You're the reason I'm standing here right now
You're the reason I lose myself
You make me wanna confuse myself
When I resist is when I fall
You make me wanna keep falling more and more


Shannie Alvarez — A Gentile with a Jewish Heart

#39 on Feedspot 2021’s Top 100 Faith Blogs
#30 on 2021’s Top 70 Jewish Blogs

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